Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.
Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fucking beef.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.
Chuck Norris does not take showers, he just takes blood baths.
If at first you don't succeed, you're obviously not Chuck Norris.
Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can swim on land
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
