When Chuck Norris get bitten by a zombie, Chuck Norris doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns in to Chuck Norris.

Helen Keller screamed Chuck Norris's name when she had sex.

Every-so-often Chuck Norris will cut a hole into a cement block and proceed to fuck it because he really enjoys "rough sex".

If you get home from work and find Chuck Norris banging your wife, you should just go ahead and make a sandwich because Chuck Norris gets hungry after sex!

Chuck Norris invented the male sex.

Chuck Norris has to asexually reproduce due to the fact no woman would survive in bed with him.

Other than having experienced an actual sexual encounter with Chuck Norris, the only thing that can possibly match & satisfy women is a mail order device aptly called an Anal Intruder which exhibits a Roto Rooter twirling action.

Chuck Norris answers the question of his metrosexuality by simply reaching his hand down the front of your pants and popping your balls like grapes.

Chuck Norris had sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky. And Hillary. AT THE SAME TIME.

If you ever find yourself screaming Chuck Norris' name during sex, then you must send a cheque of your life savings to him and immediately commit suicide.

Once, after chugging a gallon of Captain Morgan Rum, Chuck Norris french kissed a transexual frog. Nine month later, Chaz Bono was born.

Chuck Norris is all for same-sex marriage, as long as both chicks are hot.

Cancer gets Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris did it with Kim kardashion so hard that she secretly grew a dick

Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.

Chuck Norris walked into a gay bar and came out with cindy crawford chuck gets the women anytime anywhere.

Chuck Norris can copy/paste the text from a captcha.

Chuck Norris's calendar goes from march 31 straight to april 2nd......because nobody fools Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris ate a 72lb steak in 60 minutes He spent the firs 55 fucking the waitress

Chuck Norris killed 37 terrorist with 2 bullets,the first was a warning shot!