If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fucking beef.
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Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
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Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
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Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.
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Yo mamma so stupid she make Homer Simpson look like a Nobel Prize winner.
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A blonde has sharp pains in her side. The doctor examines her and says, "You have acute appendicitis."
The blonde says, "That's sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help."
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Chuck Norris does not take showers, he just takes blood baths.
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If at first you don't succeed, you're obviously not Chuck Norris.
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yo mamma is so stupid ... that she stared at a bottle of orange juice for half an hour just because it said concentrate
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Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can swim on land
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Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
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When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
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Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
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Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
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Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
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